I thought that this month would be so beautiful.

1st week of oct was wonderful. went phuket to have a holiday with bbyb.

2nd week is like a normal day for us. but we had fun. me, with work, interviews and job hunting non- stop

3rd week, it gave bbyb a big impact! he's lost. he lost his loving grandpa 3 days a go on the 19th of october. and i was sad too. cause its a week before my grandma's 1 year death anniversary.

dear, be strong. i was like you when i know i lost my loving grandma. and worst! when i see her at the hospital, i can't even talk to her. cause she's in coma. and worst of all, that day after visiting her, i was out having a lot of fun with friends. ignoring calls from my sister. and i only found out when i was crossing at the traffic light. i was lost. lost completely. and of course i do understand how you feel. slowly, you'll let go of the feelings. time will show all. make yourself busy, busy completely. that you won't notice that time is moving.

unlike me, i'm staying at her house now for almost a year already. the chair that she always sat is there. and the house is completely quiet without her. when i'm alone at home, there's no one that i can turn to and talk. cause everyone has gone to work and school.

you're still lucky to have your grandma to talk to, to laugh with, to share anything. but i don't have any. except for one that don't even recognize her own grand daughter! :(

dear, take care of your grandma for your late grandpa. accompany her whenever you can. if there's a will, i would love to meet her. (:

i love you.

and please my dear OCTOBER! please please please be nice for the rest of the 2 more weeks left!

fyi!, october have 5 weeks! heh!