will it ever end?


it will nvr even though he promised alot of tymes..

one day it will? nope..not at all..

being the one who shld be responsible..but it nvr turn out tt way..he thinks we all are bunch of idiots who knows nth..he even dare called us like anak anjing when he gone..ouh well it wont happen at all..i can take care of it..need to go back to work to help out in the house..!..


now what...running away frm all the probs u made..alah..u nvr come back olso i dont mind..for all i care, just go away frm our eyes..fuck off..!..pooff!..goes u into the thin air..w/o coming back..we dont mind for nt having u in the house to like run the house..ouh well..run the house? u nvr did..u nvr ever did..!..u let us suffer..suffer..suffer for all this more than 18 years..b4 and after u get us..!..hate u for doing tt..really..u promised..but u nvr keep it well..nvr!..


how i wished u were like other...but it nvr happen at all..nvr..u were so much diff frm the others and just make me so fucked up by seeing others so happy..spending tyme with theirs..!how i wish u can realise ur mistakes tt ur do in the house and the past mistakes tt uve made with her..pls realise tt..i want evryone in the house to be happy..so pissed to heard abt wad happen in the house when im nt in the house..she told everything..im old enough to understand including the rest..the 4 of us. dont forget tt im turining 18 this year and i can understand all the adults did..im turning legal soon..so u shld know tt im responsible for the 3 of them too..im the one who took care of them when she is nt at home and when ure nt at home..im the one who do the cooking make dem eat when theyre hungry..im the one who do the chores when she's nt at home and im the one who take care of everything in the house..

ure old enough to understand it..ure old enough to take care of everything..old enough for all..u shld at least understand her feelings..if she said no means no..dont force. no ones likes to be forced..no..no one at all..and i think including u too..u dont like to be force..so dont force her or us..we hate all this tt happen in the house..seriously..i post this over here just to let my anger go..told my friend abt it and told my fake bro too..he too understand eventhough hes nt my blood bro..

each time she told me wad happen in the house i wanted to cry..but i cant..i cant let her see im crying over this stupid issues tt happen in the house..i dont even want u to see im crying..no ones wants to see it..i cried to my friend..i let go of everything to them..and they ask me to relax..but i cant...i cnnt see all this happen in the house..i dont want..everyones in ur family side is pushing the blame to her..u use her mom's name to cover up ur loans with the fuckers out there...u told the girl tt u dated tt ure divorced..for 2 years!!..how cld tt be when u still stay under one roof with us..if u think u want to leave us..go ahead..i dont mind..havin u in the life for us is just a piece of shits..ouh wait nt a piece, bunch and bunch and bunch of shits memories..w/o u i guess it will be better..no more shoutings in house no more problems..no more goin out to make police reports..no more going to court...i will definitely follow her..stay with her..take care of her..and the 3 of them..im the elders..i shld take initiative to take care of everything..i cried at night..i cried in sch..im so stress tt until my sch attendance is bad..i always sleep late..thinking about sch and thinking about wads gonna happen when this things still continue..

crying is all i can do right now..letting all go..at once..one go..zoom!..

-cry

hello!..

went to meet nurul over at city hall at 2..but end up meeting at 2.30..went to amk b4 tt to get my phone's warranty card.

fadhil oi texted and said tt he will be late..ouh well i tot he will be late like 30 mins or 45 mins like tt..but its more than 3 hours..frm 2.30 til 7 pm..just count how many hours is tt? more than 3 hours...was really fucking restless and angry towards dem..den zainol call up to ask where are we den i said we still at marina square waiting for tt 2 fadhil..and he said he's coming over with aidil, farhan. a photographer (which they make fren over at fort canning) and another gerl..dunno who..and ouh well..make us wait again..both nurul and i was cam whoring..was trying to like tahan the shouts frm the idiots bhind us..

i think like 4 hrs 30 mins, both fadhil and the rest of the guys tt ive mentined came..i was like..ugghh!!!..botanic garden..!! i want it la..but its already spoilt..! FUCK!..i hate it..the guys went over to starbucks and ya keep us wait again..i was like so pissed off..den fadhil indie was like saying this to me " now i know how is it to wait for ppl like this like what u two felt." and i was like you know nvm..and i was restless already..i was planning to like leave them and just go to botanic garden..tts what i told nurul b4 the guys came..aiyo..release the anger to them and cried for a while..was so angry...fucking angry..u guys want to go to do the photoshoot, dont take your own sweet tyme and keep ppl waiting la..

fadhil indie and nurul comforted me..thx sayangs!=) fadhil oi was afraid of girls crying so he was like asking nt to cry and relax..zainol said sorry and was afraid of the angry face i hv..farhan asked me to relax..thx guys..!..we were waiting for aidil..he was off with the girl buying drinks..but i cant wait any longer cause i want to do my photoshoots la..!..

so i said.."why dont we just leave hym alone and just go.."
farhan: " wait uh i call hym over"
i said: " no need we just go..u guys can stay here..me and nurul can go.."
fadhil indie: " ok ok we go with you..come isty, nurul lets go.."
fadhil oi: " ya lets go.."
zainol: " you guys wanna go off?"
i said: " ya lah..wait for u guys like want to wait for durian dropping frm the tree and ya u guys keep me and nurul wait again by sitting here at starbucks..what u guys trying to do..?!..its really make me so pissed off with u guys.."
zainol: "ok ok..u guys go ahead..mayb we join u guys..cause antonio coming and goin g to sentosa."
i said: " up to you guys la tired of waiting!..confirm with us later..bye!."

and off we go..

(phone rang and it was farhan but it was aidil's voice)
I: "Hello.."-nt happy
aidil: " where are you..what happen..ure ok?"
i: " otw to padang area..i cried and ya im nt.."
aidil: " why?"
i: "ask urself..u know i hate waiting..once reach proceed la to do work..but u guys nvr..and like what ever for sitting over at starbucks? and ya im fine.."
aidil: " u sure? so sorry.."
i: " ya sure..nvm la.."
aidil: "ok den, take care, anything call me up..i'll pick up."
i: "ya ok..take care too..ya i will call u up if i need anything..bye"
aidil: "bye.."

received a msg frm zainol saying sorry..and i said "its nt ur fault..cause u guys dunno anything..im suppose to say sorry to u guys..and ya sorry to let my angers off to u guys when i shld letting it go to the 2 fadhil..anyhting want to find us, we'll be at padang"

went over to padang area..meet goofy there..took photos there..den fadhil indie and fadhil oi was like planning to go where later cause after both of them made both of us the girls to wait..they do the planning instead of us..walked around city hall..frm padang to fullerton restaurant to merlion area to fullerton hotel to clark quey to meet khaliq..all tt by WALKING!..excercise for the moment..den went to bus stop take bus to orchard..go up to one of the shopping centre, up to the highest floor of the carpark which is at 12th floor..took photos frm the top and ya crapping all the way...

all ends at 11 plus..headed to the train with nurul..reach hougang at 1145..no bus..walked for fe steps and took cab to my grandma's place..omg!..seriously my leg is killing me..!..uploaded photos..tmr havin family gathering..omg!!..will upload it over here mayb tmr..

to the guys..so sorry tt i let my anger to u guys..i was so angry..!..so sorry...really i am..=)

cheers warriors!..
and ya i met zambri over at city hall..hahahs..talking to me while i was waiting for nurul=)


hahahs..today it was fun..plus some angry moments for a while..ouh wait..for like the past few hours!.wish i cld kill hym or something..but den think back..ouh well..

came late for class..!wtf!..

im at the borderline for tt module and what the hell!..rawr!..DPH!..i want mr william back!..ask him to come back and teach us again..i dont even understand what dominic is teaching la..crapping all the way den after tt sometimes talking and having fun all by himself..orang kurang kasih sayang kata kn..!..aper la nasib dier mcm gtu..mangkok!..melampau sak!..3d max..im in the borderline too..gt to make the best for it..and for DPH too..if tt guy gv us a cahnce to like speak up for what he really teach in class la..i dont even sometimes catch what he said..alamak..cikgu gini mcm susah uh!..

ok ok back to i came late for the DPH class..i was like wtf!..he slammed the door infront of nurul and my face..wth is he trying to show sey!.slam it harder la next tyme..sampai pintu pecah..merepek..showin attitude to us doesnt make us scared at all seriously..it just makes us hate u more..more and more and more and more..think abt it..ya i know u dont care abt it..but just think..if ppl hate u, definitely ppl lost the interest to study..

next week the phase test..take photos over at photo studio den edit it over at photoshop..tyme given is only 1.5 hrs..need to use it wisely..nine person at a tyme..leceh uh!..

went to cafe 2 to hv breakfast with nurul and thomas's girlfriend..sorry to her for hearing tt her grandmother just passed away when she's in sch..=(..wait for the guys to come..call up ian to find out where are they..well DPH lesson ended early..much early..den after tt the next lesson of DPH is cancel..so theres alot of time had to spent til the next lesson which is video production tts start at 4 pm!...uggghhh!!..after the guys had their so called early lunch..they decided to spent the whole afternoon over at pasir ris to catch a movie at the new hub which located at downtown east..is kinda big and ya quiet..hahahs..

catch the movie called DRILLBIT TAYLOR..funny show i shld say..wanted to catch congkak but tk jadi cause of the tyme and ya its nt fun to watch it when its still in the day tyme..we enter the theatre..oh my goodness..we the only grp there plus another guy..alone.!.we the noisiest bunch and ya sitted at wrong places..anyhow sit..the guys la..each tyme the funny part came, we laugh as loud as we can..seriously..we cover the theatre with our laughter..gd job to the director..

when we were watching it, we were nt an ordinary kind of audience..hahahs..cause we're the DAVP students and ya we all forgt how to behave as an audience..we were like looking at the cast name and roles..and we were like saying "tts an extra for the cast"...we take a look at the crews too..and when we were out of there..we were like saying abt the conti..antonio uh...he bring up tt conti thing..and we were like agree to it..

back to sch for video production lesson. we watch the funniest video ever..!..japanese video..trying to fool the footballer to kick the ball..LOL!!!!...shld watch it den u understand what im trying to say here..

ok ok..im done im outta here!..=)

-doin production stuff den watching teletubbies doin hardcore..=) merepek..!..

dont ever spoil ur future bro!..=)


HAHAHS..ive checked the price again just now!..well well!..it cost only $1299..kaching kaching!..gonna tell mom the price went down..hahahs!..yes uh!..im gonna bring u home soon sayang!..




happy happy happy!..

woke up at 9 am to 10 am like tt..to just getting ready to meet veron over at tamp..
planned to go to botanic garden but nvr..cause it was damn fucking far..and i dunno how to go there..

reached tamp at 1245 pm..and was lost when reached at tamp west..lols..veron was there being an actress for mich video shoot..lols..i didnt recognise her at first cause she was wearing a thick make up like a chinese opera..and ya she need to be like tt.=)..at first i was like wondering where the hell is her..den she was shouting 'SAYANG!'..and i was like who the fuck call me tt?..so it was veron..

went over to queensway shopping centre to met nurul sayang and veron wants to buy her studs which was accidentally been thrown away to the bin..sedih=(..walked one round the shopping centre to find the shop..but didnt find it aniwae..but finally she went to 'THE BLUEZ'. bought three studs..one for the eyebrow, another for the lip and another one for the nose..i guess so..correct or nt veron? issit for ur nose too?went to McDonalds to hv lunch..i was fucking hungry..uggh..

over at McDonalds veron dropped her stud..nurul found it covered with milo on the floor..den the second tyme again at the same place but this tyme near someone sitting..

went over to city hall to meet haziq..hehe..veron..haziq!..BAM BAM!..lols..met haziq, abu and ayumz..ALAMAK SHIAPA!.took photos over at supreme court..nice la kn..the lightings were great for night shot.veron posed as a model for awhile..u know wad veron?, u can be a model!..=)

fadhil indie called up to asked where are we..den i said we at supreme court..so he meet us tgt with fai..den fadhil OI! came..dari jauh mcm mat rep!..lols..den aidil and farhan came..alamak!..worriors are back..but this tyme with farhan..was talking about worriors day out with nurul sayang when we were walking to the bus stop to wait for a bus to got to city hall..and ya worriors are back!.hahahs..but the worriors this tyme w/o Has, izah, zeenol, rusydi, fauzan and alip..ya tts all i think..i dunno i forgot..applaused for farhan for joining the worriors..=)..*clap clap!*=)

lepk for awhile at supreme court..went over to marina to hv dinner..but w/o veron..=(

saw ms rau..our lecturer..hahahs..salam her like fren den called her name like a fren..!..=)..

had dinner over at KFC..eventually wanted to eat over at LJS..well PVA favourite place..but den tk jadi..alah!..i bought a drink frm there and bring it over to KFC..fai, fadhil indie, fadhil OI! and farhan was eating..nurul, aidil and i wasnt eating..dah full la..McDonald double cheeseburger is still inside my stomach!.=)

after they finish eating. we went over to Mcdonald and look for ms rau..she's talking to her fren..so we didnt disturb her much.=) fai and aidil bought McFlurry..went outside and was singing "THATS WHAT YOU GET" by Paramore tgt with farhan!..hahas..i rmb the lyrics..he dont really rmb it..sat at the steps and the guys were talking shits. nurul was talking to fadhil indie. farhan and i..well we sing..lols..nurul feed me the ice cream tt fai gv her..but part paling kurang ajar..when nurul was feeding me..aidil was like pushing the spoon into my mouth and ice cream was like over my mouth..wth!..and it drop on my hand..lauckily it didnt dirty my pants..aidil gv me some tissue to wipe..and wth they make me laugh..and little bit more im gonna choke..was covering my mouth and fadhil indie was like making me laugh and said this " isty tk mo sembuh kat aku!.." translated to "isty dont u dare sprayed it on me.!"..wth!..u made me laugh and u gv me tt warning..? aperla..

wanted to go home with nurul but the guys kept on asking to wait for awhile..smoked at the stairs b4 going off..

went off all tgt..den went over to separate ways..aidil and i took train to hougang..lols..random thing he said.."first time goin home with u alone by train"..i was like lol and smiled=)..standing in the train and was covering my eyes..sleepy..hahahs..reached hougang and took 147 with aidil..he was like doing random things la when otw back to hougang ..first was like saying.."u go home first. im goin to town.." and i was like wth!..to town at this late hour..den he was like "no la!." b4 tt in the train he was tyring to make funny stuffs but i didnt laugh at it cause i was sleepy and he knows tt but he wants me to laugh!..ahh! tk dpt!.took the bus and he reached his place and for the first tyme, he went down the bus..and i looked over the window and he waved so big to me..and i was like ok..he waved..and i waved back to him la..so all the way in the bus alone..hahas!..

reached my grandmother house 15 mins late..cause i told my aunt i'll be reaching grandma's place 1130..but reached at 1145..

took my shower..eat den here i am hitting the keys!..watching saw 2 also..=)

ok2 nite to all!..and ya now miss the warriors..especially alip, fauzan and rusydi! =) i miss u guys and till we meet on tuesday PVA warriors!..=))

gd news!..-im in the BROTHERHOOD film shoot as a crew..well doin art!..=)uh..busy this coming 11 june to 14 june!..=)

ok done done!..nite to all..

over shoulder shot

rehearsal for the take

ok lets focus.

khaliq the soundman!

ok lets retake!(says aidil)

junior of..they knows!

aidil and shirleen( she's the main actress)

me thank you (producer and the art director)

camera.i like.

Aidil Alfian - DIRECTOR of Just Between You and Me (tts the title of the video)

he gt promoted to DIRECTOR of PHOTOGRAPHY once aidil says he wants to have 2nd shoot

khaliq- BOOM boy( olso known as soundman)

Farhan as JERRY the EMO BOY!

had my second video shoot in sch today!..and hell ya its meet - the - parents session..and hahahs..my crew was like in the best behaviour ever!..i admit i wasnt doing well for the first shoot and this tyme too..im the producer and the art director..so its kinda difficult to do 2 jobs at a tyme i shld say.. but i've tried my best for today..i did my job as producer and ya i didnt do well for art part..was busy with gaffing stuff..i shldnt do tt..takin the drum to one side..shift it to the other to make ppl move..holding the reflector during the first shoot..

first shoot was worst..i do my part as a gaffer instead of the producer and the art director..holding the reflector, taking the wooden pecks to one side to another..and hell ya i was chasing our gaffer la!..still can walk when u're asked to do something.!..chased hym frm one end to another!..lols!.

second shoot was ok..i agree to aidil tt today is much better than the first one..yeap yeap!..i agree to it MR DI..REC..TOR..!..hahas..we laugh alot..way too much!..cause of khaliq..doing stupid things with mr fluffy(its the windshield btw for the boom!)the funny part is tt he made alot of funny faces and ya a fly was flying around hym and it landed right inside his eyes and he non stop making noisy of havin tt fly in his eyes..aper la!..ouh ya. a BIG thank you to shirleen , farhan, zeenol and fai!..THANK YOU GUYS!..=)

went home straight and ya sitting here hitting the keys..!

Tmr im going out to have photoshoot!..this is the last assignment for photography module..alah..miss photography and ya miss MR WILLIAM!..gt back the test paper and scored 16 out of 30..!wtf i shld say!..now 3 themes choose only one..

-sins
-beauty
-time

i chose beauty..i guess its easy to shoot..going to botanic garden and butterfly park..hahahs..! i go in alone with izah nurul stay outside..tts what i told nurul!..u stay outside sayang and i go in with izah=)

to the guy. pls..u just get to know me and i just get to know u..so pls dont be kanchiong to go in a realtionship..and i think i dont really like u though.-.- sorry!.cause i had someone in mind i guess!..who the hell is the guy in my mind..which one? hmm!??

ok im done..!


happy bdae to fadhil indie..!~
happy mother's day!

ytd was fun..havin shoots for aidil's video..hahahs..its for video production assignment.=)

photos had been uploaded ytd! enjoy the pics!

stressed! tired!..

ian asked me to help hym out for his shoot today..but i cant..he told me last minute. asked my mom if i can go..but the ans is ..nagging!. mom nag at me abt it..

"tmr u schooling ryte? dont go..so late 7pm need to shoot!..i tot ytd do already?"
tts wad she said

"ytd is aidil's one..yes done..now is my friend, he need help la.."
tts wad i said..

and it ends with a bluek frm me to mom!..lols..its her mother's day present..lols!..

sorry ian cant help..but i need the disfusser by tmr morning..ask shafiq if he can send it to sch for me=)really need it back or else the ms monster will rawr!..

ok done!





hello!

having a rest today..didnt even do a bit of storyboard but edit to it a little.

went to sch for alumni meeting shot a short video for farewell thing and ya all the seniors been asking me if i know how to do the editing and i said i know only in cam editing but nt the advance yet. lols..the way my seniors hold the cam was kinda scary..very dangerous. hahas.. well maam ng wants me to put the DV tape in and i was like trying hard cause wani's hand was there and she was like mcm paham. i turned the DV tape updsie down and ya it fits well and correctly. hahas..and ya i was the first person sir loo shot. i said

" hello maam tan! well thank you for eveything tt u have done to xms sjab zone 7. we will miss you and ya we love u too!"

omg! i didnt know i let out the craps lols..and ya they want me to shot with wani and ya we tolk shits alot of shits!

all are done. went over to canteen and talk to pang tian rong and ya craps again..he was speaking in mly la..lols..gd one mr pang..and ya thank you to u too tt u willing to help me..:) credits will come to u one day.=)

had lunch with wani over at kfc hougang mall..den after tt headed to chamelon to buy my green hair pins which went lost at chalet. bought red too..hahahs..

went home after tt..received sms frm aidil asked if i want to lepak.and i was like wth! i want to do the storyboard and there ure asking me to lepak..smsed hym back saying i'll see first if i want to lepak.

called fizah up to ask if she's free and ya she was lepak with aishah. nvr ask me..sedih! =( lols..headed to aishah's place and ask if she wants to follow me to kovan to meet aidil and his frens. and she said ok why not..lols..

arrived first b4 hym and ya bought hym the cigs he want for his bdae..lols so long sey!.

act busy with the storyboard when he arrives..lols..he was like playing a fool..bought his deck along and his fren was there too..daniel..lepak with hym til 630. he was talking craps..craps and craps and craps.. disturbed aishah and me..wth! hahah and and the funny part. a boy approached us and wanted to ask some ques but den tk jadi tanyer, psl si aidil ni kn aiyoo!..he showed the boy the angry and nt happy face. lols..the boy ran and told his dad..wth! i was laughing with aishah and aidil's 2 frens: daniel and imran..den the boy came and approach aidil and said this straight to his face " u look like a ghost and ure ugly!" LOL!!! sedih sia having ppl sayin tt straight to ur face..lols! hahahs..aidil is ugly! lols..kidding! he came back to us and was sedih..lols..emo!

while sitting and chatting, i wanted to pee..really dah kt hujung hujung..lols..and aidil wants to shit and i disturbed hym saying "dah kat hujung! dah kat hujung!" and he stand up and farted infront of my face. i was like wtf! i get up and gave hym a big slap at his back..eww! sweats!

wanted to go home..salam and hug them and ya go straight to mcdonalds to release everything!

headed home took shower and ya go over to grandma's place and ya here i am hitting the keys!..

ok im done!.

shoots - 10 may in sch!
see you guys on mon!

miss everyone!


heys.

happy 17th bdae to
lay hoon
fadhil oi
nurul sayang!
may all ur wishes come true and all the best for ur future endeavour!

i'll be having a busy week starting frm the day i know what am i in the crew. im the producer and the art director. and ya i'll be doin the make ups too..

im in aidil's group. he's the director and the director of photography and i think i can work with hym as im close to hym and he already asked for me b4 we choose our directors. if i didnt chose hym i might be choosing either farhan or antonio.

what am i suppose to do? well find the location and settle paper works and script. but the script is done by aidil hymself and so i dont hv to do it. but i gt to do the storyboarding, location agreeement, location release, equipment checklist and the cast particular.

a big thank you to stephanie wun cause she's willing to help me and to become the main cast and to her friends too thanks!..well wun meet u this sat in sch and im gonna talk to u abt the cast thing and ya dont back off!..if u do im gonna kill u for it!

ouh ouh..the gd news..ms rau nvr call up our parents..yeah! thank you! lols..well ive told my mom abt it and the reaction..hahahs, she remain calm and cool..even she said

"next tyme want to smoke, smoke far far" "and nt too close to sch"

and i was like..

"mom, i tot ure gonna scold me or something?"

i was saying tt in my head. wanted to let it out but neh forget it. i was happy enough tt day tt mom didnt scream to her top abt being caught for smoking in sch and ya i asked her this

"dont tell pa tt ive been caught smoking"

and she said

"ok, i wont, but dont do it again"

sure i wont get caught for it but i will do the smoking hahas.
tts y i love u mom. u can be trusted! lols.

im now doin the location agreement and the location release..lols..didnt knoe its the same as in my video production text book. all the same. but nt exactly the same. printed all out and ya smsed aidil if he needs anything to print out and he said he will tell me by monday and ya the storyboard.. i gt to finish it by monday eventhough aidil nvr wants it early but i just cant keep things longer. even the paper works he wants me to do it slowly well if everything goes slow, when will it ever end? adoi!.

next week. photoshoot over at studio. anione wants to be my model for my photoshoot? anyone?. guys only. well the girls gt to find male models while the guys find female. uggh..i want female la..cause i had in mind to shot who. alah!..ok wadever it is i guess i'll ask shafiq if he wants la..i want the photoshoot to be like gangster type of guy with kind of sepia type of pic. tts my idea. hahahs..tmr in sch i'll ask shafiq if he wants.. 7 may, vp1 test! uggh! and ya soon wld b dph. pls make it easy for us to pass.

and ya my $1.2k. blanja my sibs to dinner. spent 20 over bucks..alah small amount.. camera is comin in june. told mom to prepare some cash to share with me and spent it. june IT show is comin. and i hope the price goes down.please.=) i think i wld buy the cam with kit lens 1 nt 2..but if mom wants me to buy with kit lens 2..ouh why not? lols..

now no cigs with me..i missed smoking..lols..eventhouh smoked in sch alot of tymes eventhough after being caught!.lols..now gt to becareful. when july intakes come, we're nt goin to smoke outside sch!.buyin it soon i guess..hahahs..=)

ok ok..im done here..guess heading back to storyboard..yeah!..tmr paperworks and stuffs..goona go sch on sat for alumni meeting and ya gonna meet steph!

ok2 done done!