like finally i raised it. i don't know if is it you or is it me who did it first. but, over all, i don't care.
if you happened to read this, maybe i know you will give the whatever face.

i've moved on and i think, you too moved on. guess what, enemies? i don't think so. still, i treat you like a friend. what i wished for you is that you just be happy with her and moved on with your life.

me? like as usual. what comes, it will go eventually.

bye!


okay,

its been a week i don't have a proper happiness! a PROPER one i meant!.

lets do some updates before i get busy with my works.

sunday,

jln raye with POP'A'LOC, first day of blood coming out.
tired and sleepy thats what all of them noticed. sorry guys:) being cheered up by malik's lil' sis - juliana! thanks alot la love. eventhough you're three and don't understand yet but then you know how to make people around you smile.:) thank you!.

monday,

let me see what i did? errmm...
oh oh! not so nice conversation with mr vampiee. not nice one. :( but i don't care at all.

tuesday,

went to school to get all done.
sheesha with classmates. true or dare game were played! i had fun. like finally. but sekejap jer. teros knocked out!

wednesday,

went down to novena to get stickers with lullaby love. went down to art friend at orchard. ART FRIEND IS MY FRIEND AFTER ALL! lols. chey!.:) got my blue phone back from mr vampiee.
met andy, choco, loco and nizam. like finally they light me up! thanks a lot guys!

- to you guys, ( andy, choco, loco, nizam, lullaby, shidi, malik and whoever i know in POP'A'LOC)
THANKS A LOT FOR BEING MY FRIEND. AFTER KNOWING YOU GUYS, I KNOW I HAVE A GROUP OF FUN GUYS TO HAVE FUN WITH, TO SHARE MY PROBLEMS WITH AND TO SING ALONG WITH. HEH!:) THANKS ALOT!

today,

well, nothing to do much. going to get busy.

okay okay here a part that i want to said:

mr vampiee, i guess this is the time. i think i better leave you. be friends. please. but still, you can call me up when you've got problems. but when we meet up, the normal things that we did like now, is not going to be there anymore. one thing i don't want to be the bitch. well, im not. i've moved on. and i guess i found mine. if you read this, i'll be glad. :)be happy with her and i know you can:)cherished her like a precious thing you had. and i'll be happy for you. cheers my friend:) huggs!:)

LET'S END THIS STUPID COMMOTION NOW!

LABELS: END IT UP!
MOOD: TGH BELO!


OKAY LIKE WTF!

i've been not sleeping! like why? oh no! and yesterday night, 2 hours of sleeping. have to wake up at 6 am to get myself awake before my shoot. heh! was sick, sore throat, and soon what, fever? body been aching for 2 days.

even when, i'm sick i can't stay at home. i have to go out. and thats really make my whole body so weak. weak to understand what people is talking to you. now, i suppose to go to bed after my shoots ends fucking early due to the rain. and here i am sitting in front of the com, BLOGGING and UPLOADING photos of our dear mr director - GHUFRAN JASNI. uploaded over at facebook. heh.

walked under the rain, its like a FINALLY! feeling for me. got wet, not really wet. now i guess, i'm going to be sick!

was going to knocked out at 12 plus, when my dear mr vampiee called. and after hanging up, i knocked out. few minutes later, aishah called to meet her up. and thats really at 130 am. i woke up and went down to meet her. she needs someone to talk to. and i accompanied her. while waiting for her, mr vampiee called up again.

love, that night, the whole day, seriously, we don't have a proper conversation. even though we talked on the phone in the afternoon and later at night. i never meet you for the whole day, but i wished i could. i wasn't in the perfect mood and i need you. and yeah, eventually i went blank. still, i know i'm tired, i'm being stubborn. make myself more tired and complained. i know i shouldn't. on my way home, i tried my luck to call you and eventually you're not asleep. finally, i got a proper conversation and get to hear your voices, your irritating noises. i missed all that. i am.

now, what should i do? can i go for a drink? obviously is a NO. a BIG FUCKING NO!. should i just go and sleep? OBVIOUSLY I NEED ONE. i don't have a proper one since wednesday. and now its been going 4 days of not sleeping well, and not eating well. even the food that i ate over at our location at seng kang, i can't finish it up. even though its my favourite kuih teow goreng. that should be a YUMMY! but..YUCK! for me. i wanted to throw up but i can't.

smoking, listen to the music till late night, playing phone games till late night and talking to you is my only medicine. a proper medicine? huh? aper tu?

next week, the whole week, i guess i will be sleeping over at grandma's place. cause thats the only place i can have some peace for doing my work. or maybe after school re-open?

okay, now what i need is that, SLEEP. A FUCKING SLEEP. UGGH! AND VOICE OF YOURS.

I AM SO, SO, SO, NOT GOING TO ENJOY MY OCTOBER MONTH! ITS A DISASTER! DISASTER FOR M8, DISASTER FOR STRESS-NESS FOR THIS STUPID FUCKING AND THE SUCKIEST M8! CB! BILER NI M8 NK ABES! UGGH!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SING ME A SONG THAT I CAN GO TO SLEEP IN PEACE AND CAST ME A SPELL THAT I CAN OVERCOME THIS STUPID STRESS-NESS FOR M8!

*NURUL LOVE, BE STRONG. DON'T WORRY I WILL TRY TO GET FOR YOU THE EQUIPMENTS FROM SCHOOL. I'LL TALK TO GOOFY AND FAI AGAIN FOR THAT. THE STUPID SHIT OF M8 HAVE TO GO ON, NO MATTER WHAT. I LOVE YOU TORTOISE!

LABELS: WTF!
MOOD: KNOCKED OUT SOON! KNOCKED ME ON MY HEAD HARD! AND CRAVING FOR A DRINK! CAN I? OBVIOUSLY IS A BIG FUCKING NO!

UGGH! ISTY PURWANTY, WAKE UP LA CB!




should i just say i should go or stay?

eventually i can for go.(i guess) but how about you?

i slept at 6am plus going 7 am. just to think back, what really makes us to be in this way.?

both, is confused by that. is it your fault or is it mine? is good enough that i am not bad enough to be the bad one of the third party. cause i know, myself, i'm not like that towards anyone that i cared for and to anyone.

one thing i want to know. does she really understands you better than me? does she knows you that well? or do i know you that well too? she's just the opposite of me. OPPOSITE. TOTALLY OPPOSITE. and i notice that. she's the princess and i'm just me. just like my blog song, she's wear high heels and i wear sneakers.

maybe i understands you. just maybe. i can't say more. cause i'm too confused to think about anything. too much of stuffs to think. i can die of this!. uggh!

just tell me what to do. am i going to leave you? am i going to stay by your side, supporting you in anyway and comforting you when you're down? am i going to be the one who going to raise the white flag and say " you're going to be okay without me, stay strong with her, stay strong for anything. " am i going to say that? am i?

being the understanding and/ weak one here is always difficult to make the decisions. thats what i realised.

but these are the moments that i'm going to remember most
just got to keep going
and i,
i got to be strong
just keep pushing on,

yes its true i cried yesterday night. but why? i don't know. even a lot of times i said i hate you, its a lie!

so whats next? i don't know?



LABELS: SO LOST!
MOOD: SLEEPY AND TIRED OF THIS CONFUSIONS!