i guess,everyone is nt ready for all the shits that comes one by one. come one after another. its all a disaster thats test your patients and your egoness. omg! end it now! PLEASE!

some are nt ready for love. you just said "i love you" and you think its enough.? no. ppl come and go. just like the one i stated at my previous post abt friends. cnnt describe it further though. much or less, they still the same.

irritated by a guy that keep on thinking that i can gv him everything that he wants. such a toot!. i tot he was a nice guy bt in the end. nope. wanted a girl just for on top of the bed? like what for kn? i dont want to mention the name uh, ask directly to me. i'll tell. nurul dear know who is he.

avoiding him for like so long. and now he's back. calling me, i nvr ans it. gi mampos pon bagos la!. irritating. i guess, you're not ready for a real relationship with girls. i've fallen for your sweetness and i've falled into the trap. and here i am trying to save myself frm falling into your trap again. uggh!. dumb asss!

everytime, i wished i cld turn back time. but i cldn't cause theres no way for you to turn back time. wishing for its is just nt enough. just have to move on and buat bodoh!. moving!

sometimes having a bad dream of you having the same situation as your mum is scary enough to face it. thinking of it have already making me scared to get into a relationship. confused, scared and nt too sure if the guy that loves you are the one who will be there for you. to me, i prefer them for being your bestfriend. the closest one ever. cause i know they will be there for you.=)

dad having been home for like going 3 mths. leaving us alone at home, trying to cope things up. me with the studies and the shoots that is coming. soemtimes, i felt that, i dont have a dad, even i have a dad. i was jealous when looking at daughter and father happily joking around. laughing, talking and stuffs, looking at a full set of joyness in the faces. omg!. i know sometimes all this joyness is just the cover of the book that is already broken. they're just faking it to make it look good.

since the day dad ran away from home, i felt the emptyness in this family.i guess there is not much diff if there is dad or not. its still the same. how i wish he can be like some other daads that take resposibilities and all. having laughters and all the talkings, i just miss the old times. bt too bad, you cant turn back time. at all.

crying when doing this post, i just want everything to be put here, so that i wont rmb anything my head. i will only rmb when i read this up. =( i dunno why in the sudden im doing this post. i guess i want all the misery business to be put here nt inme anymore. and i guess this is the only oace which i can put everything. my close friends know about this. im tired of all this bull shitting thing uh. just making me worried for all. having a family that doesnt really understand you that enough is just nt cool to me. what i want frm this family is the love that we had before. all the old times. all the understanding and stuffs.

i guess, thats the reason why, i start smoking. ughh!!! ahh!!! die la die la die la die la die la!

i wrote this last time. and here it is. share it with you guys,

circle
isty purwanty

even there is light in your life,
you will still see yourself in the dark.
thinking of all this shits,
i guess it will never end, it wont

all the dreams that you've dreamt is all fake
but still, waking up in the dark
with no where else to turn
you will still stay in the big circle

countless night,
countless day,
all this have no ends
dreaming of you is nt enough
cause im still stuck in this life
(pathetic)

to live and to breathe
you taking over me
just let me go
leave me alone
here i am still stuck in this big circle

countless night,
countless day
all this have no ends
cause im still tuck in this life
(pathetic)
still leaving in the confused state
still leaving in this shit
come one let me go
just let me go


half way done though. this piece of shit is just what i wrote when i was doing nth and was in the depression state. helping out my friend with this. i dunno to make it into lyrics or just make it a piece of idea that have been kept for like ages!

sorry o make it look likes a long post. well, it is. too bad what to do. soemtimes life is do unfair, bt i gt to admit that all lifes ae not perfect. no one is perfect except for the ONE.

here i end by saying, im sorry to those whom i hurt b4. thank you to those who have been with me. shits to all that are making me a enemy to them.

i will always love this 3 bestfriends of mine. huggs.! ily!

to mum, im sorry and thanks=) you done too well for being singled parent. im proud of you and yeah sorry!=( and i admit that, ily!

okay bye!